KMERRITTBLOG

HBO Summer Film Festival 2010: Night 1

In theory, an ideal way to spend the first day of summer in New York City is by laying back on a big, comfy blanket in the middle of a park, watching a movie projected on a theater-like screen after sundown. In reality, this is New York City, so that park is completely overcrowded, the audio not quite surround sound, and the cigarette smoke is almost as thick as the humidity. At least, that’s how it was for Goldfinger last night in Bryant Park.

The movie was set to start around 9pm so I showed up at 615 to get a spot for the group I was meeting. Fail. The lawn was already covered with king-sized blankets and people piling on top of one another. So we had to walk down the gravel path to the very back of the park, before settling into the few remaining chairs that were sitting around the lawn. After almost 3 hours of chatting with the girls, I was ready to leave by the time the movie started. But I figured I didn’t wait around that long just to leave for the main attraction. That was, until the movie started and we couldn’t hear a thing from where we were seated. I think it was a combination of the commotion around us and the positioning of our seats, because as soon as we exited the viewing area, you could hear the movie clear as day. We only made it until about 945.

Movie night in the park is a cool idea, and there’s definitely something surreal about watching a movie outdoors, surrounded by the lights of the skyscrapers. But I’d recommend getting there right when the lawn opens up at 5pm to secure your spot. You can check out a new flick every Monday night until the end of August. For a complete listing of dates and movies, check out the Bryant Park website.

2010 Mermaid Parade

Saturday I met up with a group of girls (and one guy, poor fella) at Brighton Beach to catch some sun. In order to make it out there by noon I left my apartment by about 1045am, only to find out the hard way that there were no downtown 6 trains. I had to head uptown 4 stops before I could catch the 4/5, and back down to 59th street. Then I had to transfer two more times before I was finally on the Q on my way to Brighton Beach. I got there at 1220pm. I’d never been to Brighton Beach, but my expectations weren’t very high since I’d spent several days at the shattered-glass adorned sands of Coney Island. Turns out, Brighton Beach pretty much is Coney Island. It’s just a little bit of a walk from the amusement park area to what is considered Brighton Beach.

The annual Mermaid Parade was going on that day, so we went over to snap a few photos of the outrageous costumes. After 45 minutes I realized that I had to be home in the next hour and a half, so I started to make my way back to the train. I guess I should’ve thought about this beforehand, but I was literally trapped at  Coney Island. The parade had the entire street blocked off, and I ended up walking 20 minutes out of my way to go around, and 20 minutes back. Coney Island was seriously insane. People love their Mermaid Parade. By the looks of it, I think we missed out on a lot of the good costumes, but I wasn’t going to miss a concert just to watch a buncha drunken hippies run around the beach half naked all day. Check out the pictures I did get here.

Cue Summer; and Go!

Happy first day of summer everyone! I love the warm weather because I’m actually motivated to get out of the apartment and enjoy every second of sunshine (and moonshine) possible. And boy am I starting this summer out right (although completely broke).

Friday- I randomly went to see New Kids on the Block at Radio City. It was ridiculous. I couldn’t believe how many hoards of crazy women flocked to this concert! I didn’t even know anybody liked them anymore! The only reason I went was because this girl in the meetup group had 3 extra tickets just a few hours before the show. So why not? I figured at the very least it would be inspiring for my comedy routine.

Saturday- I spent the day at Brighton Beach and the Coney Island Mermaid Parade. Then I had dinner and drinks at BB King’s while watching Albert Lee & Hogan’s Heroes put on a great show.

Sunday- I went and saw Toy Story 3 in 3D, and I bought a few books on comedy writing.

Monday- The first night of the HBO summer film festival in Bryant Park. Heading down there to watch Golden Eye tonight.

Tuesday- Tigers @ Mets! Go Tigers!

Wednesday- Wrath of Cannes at Kabin.

Friday- My 2nd stand up show at New York Comedy Club. Come! It’ll be fun! The show starts at 10pm.

Saturday- UCB Theater for a battle of the best sketch/improv acts.

Sunday- Champagne lunch + Polo match out at Governor’s Island.

And next Friday, I’m going back to Ohio for a few days for a long overdue visit!

Did I mention that I somehow have to make time to shoot & edit a few spec commercials over the next 2 weeks as well?

Experience the Wrath of Cannes

Hey junior advertising creatives! Did you miss out on your chance to go to Cannes by losing the Young Lions competition to someone who is obviously an idiot? Or maybe you were too lazy to even enter in the first place? Are Mom and Dad too deep into their 2nd mortgage to give you another $5,000 just to relocate your alcohol addiction to a place far nicer than the beach they spent their honeymoon on (the Jersey Shore)? Or maybe you never stood a chance at winning a lion in the first place because Gerry Graf and Alex Bogusky clearly don’t know what they’re missing out on by not giving you a chance?

Whatever your bitter reasons are for not attending the Cannes Lions Festival this year, fear not. You can still get just as drunk right here in New York City with $1 beers at Wrath of Cannes. Now I know you’re a creative so you’re probably not that good at math, but for the same $5,000 you’d spend in Cannes, you can spend $5,000 at Wrath of Cannes and get 5,000 beers— or 4,000 beers if you tip well.

The Wrath of Cannes competition is open to all juniors with less than 2 years of paid experience in the industry. You know what that means— you can get as drunk as you want and the photos won’t end up on the front page of AdAge the next day. Nobody cares knows who you are! Check out Wrath of Cannes on YouTube for details, but basically the cost to enter is $0, and we won’t extend the deadline 17 times before the show. Just show up at Kabin at 7pm on June 23 with your best work on a thumb drive and let the judging begin.

Of course, you don’t have to be a junior to attend Wrath of Cannes. Maybe you’re a seasoned pro just looking for the next big idea that will send you to Cannes next year. Come on by and meet the juniors who will be accusing you for stealing their work next spring. At the very least, come get to know the brilliant minds that will be setting up their Twilight collection in your cubicle next month as you’re forced into early retirement.

After all, who wants to carry a faux-gold trophy 4,000 miles back home when you can stumble just a few blocks home with an iPad?

Please Stand Up.

Looks like I’m doing another stand up show my babies. Details to come.

Kleptomaniacs

You know you’re in the ghetto when they lock up the paper towels. Too bad I was in the Upper East Side…

Memorial Day Weekend at Rockaway Beach

Who knew that such a nice beach existed just outside of the city, in Queens nonetheless? I’ve wasted several summers out at the shattered-glass filled Coney Island, but last weekend I decided to try out Rockaway Beach for a change. I took the A all the way out to the Broad Channel stop, and then took the shuttle over the water out to the Rockaway Park Beach 116 St stop. It was like being in an entirely different town altogether. The whole area was like a Florida beach town! The beach itself was surprisingly clean— no shattered glass! The sand was soft, the water was clean, and the overall crowd seemed a little cleaner than the bums that show up at Coney Island. Don’t get me wrong, I like Coney Island, but now that I know that this clean, enormous beach is just a few minutes further away, you know where I’ll be all summer!

Click here to check out my pictures of Rockaway Beach.

My First NYC Apartment Fire Scare

Snapped this when all was done and over, and we were back in our apartment.

Last night, one of my greatest NYC apartment-living fears came true. Thankfully, it wasn’t to the extent of what usually illustrates my nightmares, but it still happened nonetheless. Our apartment building caught on fire around 9pm.

I had just gotten out of the shower, so I wasn’t completely dressed when I heard sirens stopping in front of our building. As I walked over to the window, I said to Mike “I hate it when this happens.” He looked at me and asked “What?” I replied, “Whenever a fire truck stops out front I always get scared that it’s my building.” Just then I looked out the front window to see six fire trucks, with firemen running into our building, hose in hand. “Holy shit! It is our building!” I ran into the bedroom to put on something a little more appropriate, since at this point I was convinced I would be spending the night in a hotel. So many thoughts started flooding my mind. Did I pay my renters insurance this year? How much money do I have in the bank to get me through the next few days? Do I have to go to work tomorrow? Mike interrupted these thoughts by opening the door to the hallway and said “Yeah, there’s definitely smoke in the hallway, let’s go.” I grabbed my cell phone, wallet and keys, and by the time I was looking for my shoes, Mike had already gone out the door. I kind of freaked out and yelled to him “Please don’t leave me alone!” Haha I was terrified— I am deathly afraid of fires, especially in our apartment. The way that it is set up, our only escape routes exist in the living room. If we’re in the bedroom or the bathroom, there’s no way out unless the Hulk comes through and tears down the concrete walls.
Continue reading…

Sex and the City 2; Without Much Sex

Last night I saw Sex and the City 2. All two and a half hours of it. No, I did not gather my girl friends and dress up in a fancy dress with too-high heels, and meet for cocktails before heading to the movie. That may be partially due to the fact that I don’t really have any girl friends, but whatever. I went straight to the Regal Theater in Times Square after work and met up with a girl from a meetup group whom I have never met. Yes— I saw Sex and the City on opening night in New York City, in Times Square of all places. What the hell was I thinking, right?

Me and $26.9 million worth of other movie goers made it out to the theaters yesterday. I’m horrible at math, but at $12 a ticket, that’s what? 2.25 million movie-goers? I usually never see movies on opening day as to forego the crowds, but I didn’t want to hear any spoilers about the movie before I actually got a chance to make it out to see it. I guess the joke’s on me though, because there are no spoilers! All of the speculation was right— there was no plot to Sex and the City 2. Technically, there was no reason to make this movie other than the fact that they knew they’d bring in millions of dollars and continue on the legacy. Some could argue that they made the movie to show how life is after marriage and/or children. But then one has to wonder, how many married mothers get a free trip to Abu Dhabi for a week of first class treatment? Then again, when has Sex and the City ever been realistic? I know from experiencing life in New York that hot, single men aren’t swarming the streets of Manhattan, and freelance writing isn’t exactly a bank account paved in gold. They probably should have quit while they were ahead, before too many people start bashing the show and belittling what’s left of its image.

That being said, I’m not saying I didn’t enjoy the movie. I’m a huge fan, so of course I was entertained, and completely jealous the entire 143 minutes. Every time these girls turned around there was a new kind of unimaginable luxury presenting itself. It was more of a road trip, feel-good kind of movie. The slightest bits of drama were resolved effortlessly and almost instantly which didn’t lead for much suspense. Everything is still perfect in Carrie Bradshaw and Co. land.

As far as the girls being “old” goes; (Sarah Jessica Parker/Carrie and Kristin Davis/Charlotte are 45, Cynthia Nixon/Miranda is 44, and Samantha/Kim Cattrall is 53), I think they look amazing. I don’t understand why so many people comment on their age and the way they look. They obviously take care of their bodies by not becoming obese old women who look 60 when they’re 45, so who cares if they’re wearing a hot designer dress in the movie? I didn’t think any of the girls dressed or looked inappropriate for their age at any point. (Well, maybe the midriff-bearing shirt Carrie wore for a brief minute in her old apartment and the diner. But belly shirts are a bad idea on anyone at any age in my book.) What do people expect them to be wearing, velour jump suits, sitting at a slot machine in Atlantic City? I could go on about this for ages, but that’s an entirely different blog post. I can only hope that I look as good as Kim Cattrall does when I’m 53, with only a little bit of Botox (at least, that’s what she says)!

Hello, Brooklyn

Snapped this photo of the Brooklyn Bridge on my iPhone while riding the Q out to Brooklyn the other week. Always such a gorgeous sight.